twenty years

I just watched one day and I can't help thinking about what happened to both their lives, Em and Dex. Somehow I relate to Emma, she was a robot, weird what with too far fetched ideas of changing the world, making a difference. she's always making snide and rude remarks about politics, but never really makes a stand. she had an ambition yet life pushed her into making took a wrong turn. she did not resist, instead, merely chanted a you-can't-always-get-what-you-want sigh. best comparison of all, she's scared of being too happy. Wow. Why did I not see these stuff in my yearbook writeup?


When I was a kid I thought blatantly I was going to be a doctor. (I still want to be one) I was very curious with how the insides of the human body were that I actually deemed anatomy one of my more favored subjects even though it stresses my brain thoroughly with all the memorizing. I pictured myself with raccoon eyes wearing a white cloak, underneath I'm wearing blue scrubs. My apartment is near the hospital, I'm alone and yet my place is full of certificates, gifts and cards from patients, and it reeks of coffee.


Now here's what I see twenty years from now. I see myself stuck in an office cubicle, wearing clothes that must be neatly ironed or else I get fired. My hair tied neatly up. I see myself with bazillions of papers that needs to be reread and signed. I am paid by I own a house, where I stay with my brother and my family. My room is full of paper clutter. I will grow old rich but unhappy and lonely while seeing my friends get married and have babies. I'll probably make sure I have a movieroom inside my house, (investment on a projector) so I won't be miserable all the time. ha ha


That's how I see it, not how I want it to be.








What I really just want is to travel with a camera and a notebook, wearing my tshirts and jeans, with 
enough money to feed myself.